I used to be like this:
On the way to meet acquaintances dare not take the initiative to say Hello, Dare not take the initiative and just know people to Talk
Speak a word to want to brew in the heart half a day, finish to want oneself to say right or wrong again
DARE not ask for help, help to do things never refused to others
Angry when also dare not face, dare not call, like to use text chat, dare not use voice
……
I don’t know if any of you have had this experience. If there is, we do not have to fear, as long as you follow my way below, you will be able to overcome the inferiority complex.
In order to overcome self-abasement, I really tried all kinds of methods, as you now, in many platforms to see the experience of others summary, but also bought a lot of books.
This is just one of them
Overall, the result has been a relatively good one and is now a lot more confident (although it took a lot of detours)
I am sharing my experience with you in the hope that I can help you.
Put Up a mind map for you to read about:)
1. Find the root of low self esteem
In general, people with low self-esteem mainly have the following characteristics:
1. A “Shy”personality
Shy people tend to have low self-esteem (like me)
Whenever I am in a public place, or around some people I do not know, I feel especially not open with them, especially uncomfortable. Do not like to take the initiative to greet others, talking.
2. Excessive dependence
In life, some people will seriously shift the focus of life to others, that only get the attention of others, recognition and love is valuable, otherwise it is worthless.
Because there is so much uncertainty in the minds and attitudes of others, we have to worry about what we have to lose.
When we are rejected or apathetic, we feel extremely low self-esteem and even self-loathing from the bottom of our hearts.
3. Likes to compare
There’s always someone smarter, better, and more popular than you, and there’s always someone you can’t beat. Page, the weekly
I used to love to compare. I don’t like to compare my good points with others’bad points.
I like to compare my shortcomings with others’merits. Classic case of self-flagellation
4. be “Too hard on yourself.”
I have a serious problem with that. Sometimes I get so mad at myself
I’m gonna be very hard on myself. Especially when I was in school, if I didn’t get the grades I expected, I felt bad and failed. Even if a lot of people think I’m good.
This almost exacting standard, and the pursuit of absolute perfectionism. If you don’t live up to your expectations, you will immediately label yourself as a failure and belittle yourself accordingly.
5. Focus too much on the outcome
The school teacher put me in the game, and I always thought I was going to lose. Do not start to worry about meeting all kinds of problems, so in important occasions always can not play their own.
It is often because we are afraid of the consequences of failure that we are not brave enough.
Carnegie says, “Most people in the world lose not to ability, but to self-doubt.”
6. Too many “Worries.”
Most People’s fears stem from too many internal concerns: we always think before and after things, worries, this will give a person’s psychological “Burden.”.
When I want to do something, I think about it a lot, worrying about this, worrying about that.
I think it makes perfect sense that when we do something, we always assume the worst. As the saying goes: “Fear what, to what, the more timid heart, the worse the results!”
“Fear, and we lose! !”
There are the above points, please use 0.666 seconds to give me a like, let me know that I was not alone.
Let’s move on to the method
2. Ways to overcome low self esteem
Step out of the familiar world
For example, when I was a freshman in college, I met some classmates on the way, or other people I didn’t know very well, but I could name them. I sometimes find it awkward and embarrassing to say hello to them. So a lot of times you just walk by and pretend you didn’t see it.
In fact, this is very bad, this is a very obvious manifestation of inferiority complex. In the meantime, this also can produce certain effect to oneself interpersonal relationship.
The point is, sometimes, I don’t want to say hi, but when people say hi to me, I don’t realize it, and it’s embarrassing.
So, overcome your fears and try to take the initiative to greet and talk to others. Try to connect with different types of people.
To “Out of the comfort zone”, the number of times, get used to it, we will find that many things are not as difficult as we thought!
Now every time I see someone, I can greet them naturally. And every time I did, I was happy because I had overcome something that was very difficult for me.
2. Confidence comes from practice
In fact, the so-called overcome inferiority complex, that is to increase self-confidence
When we grow up, we have more and more to worry about. How can we build confidence if we can’t even take the first step?
I used to think playing the piano was very, very hard, and I needed talent. Later was abruptly pulled by roommates to learn, learned later found that it is not so difficult, as long as hard as can learn well.
To build self-confidence, do what you have failed to do a thousand times, and do what you have never tried before.
When we finally succeed, we gain confidence not in our abilities, but in ourselves.
3. Let Go of the fear of the unknown
Don’t worry so much! ！! Do what you want to do that makes sense to you!
It’s like when you go to give a speech, and you think before you start, what if you fail? What if the audience doesn’t Care? What if there’s a lull later?
Don’t think about so many unknown and uncontrollable factors. If you think about it that much, even if you do, your focus will be on failure and The Hours, which will definitely have a big impact on your performance.
You have to believe in yourself, and you have to tell yourself that it’s okay to fail. The terrible thing is that we give up those opportunities time and time again.
4. Push the boundaries
Don’t always set limits on yourself, such as feeling rigid, stupid, or unable to speak
Once you set these limits on yourself, you’ll feel that way no matter what you do. Where’s the confidence in that?
You have to tell yourself that I’m good, that I’m no worse than anyone else. Always Talk to yourself. Always encourage yourself.
If you really don’t know how to interact with a computer, read books on networking and improving your emotional intelligence. In short, if you’re not good enough in one way or another, change.
Don’t always say yourself this is not good, that is not good! ! !
5. Confidence in doubt
Sometimes indecision is the enemy of self-confidence, we need to do is in the day-to-day small things to learn to be decisive.
The more people know how to make decisions, the more confident they are, which in turn improves decision making, creating a virtuous cycle.
But it’s worth noting that when making a decision out of doubt, the most important thing is to listen to your own voice, not to be hasty, and not to forget to accept the risks.
6. Actively connect with others
People with low self-esteem, most of them are more isolated and unsociable. They isolate themselves from others. This situation makes it easy for us to see only our own shortcomings, thus ignoring our own strengths. Eventually fall into a deep inferiority complex, unable to extricate themselves.
When you actively interact with others, your attention will be drawn to them, you will feel their emotions and emotions, and your mental activities will become cheerful.
In addition, through the communication of others, can know others and oneself in many aspects, thus adjust self-evaluation, improve self-confidence. Through communication, you can express the feelings of being suppressed, so that their mood becomes cheerful.
When you are in a bad mood, you can vent with your parents, best friends, and friends, so that the mood will be much better.
3. Build a sense of self worth
1. create a positive feedback mechanism
That is to say, we do what we are good at, what we are constantly encouraged and recognized for.
We can use a book, like a diary every day, others praise their own words, their better things to write on the book.
Even if it’s something small in your life, just add it all up. When we open it when we are unhappy, we find that we are not so bad ourselves.
Remember the Pros:)
2. Allow Yourself to fail
We Can’t be 100% on everything, and that’s normal.
No one’s life is so plain sailing, think of Jack Ma, think of those great characters, which did not experience a little frustration, difficulties and so on. And they’ve been through a lot more than most of us, but they haven’t given up.
So, we should allow ourselves to fail properly.
As long as I am still working hard for this goal, even if I am successful, I will give myself a big affirmation in my heart.
3. I deserve respect
When people with low self-esteem are criticized and reviled by others, their first reaction is that what they say is really true.
I really didn’t do well enough, and I should be grateful that he pointed out my shortcomings.
This kind of thinking, on the surface, seems to be very positive, but in essence, it still denies themselves once again, reinforcing their sense of inferiority and low value.
When it comes to criticism, before you do any soul searching, ask yourself:
The Way It’s put into words, whether or not it has enough respect for me.
Peel a chestnut, for example, a friend told you, you are too greedy, too lazy, too greedy, you can not control their own body, what can you do?
It may seem like I’m doing you a favor, and I want you to lose weight, but in fact, it doesn’t respect your feelings at all.
He doesn’t actually help you, other than make you feel worse about yourself.
So, when we encounter each other’s language, offensive, you must not continue to self-denial, self-criticism, but immediately detect its language expression does not respect me, I do not accept this malicious opinion, i am worthy of respect.
If you’re looking at this, you’re a deep thinking learner, and I want you to click like for 1s, answer mark, and read on. Thank you
4. You have to meet your needs first
When someone asks you for help, when someone commands or delegates something to you, ask yourself a few questions: Can I do this with the energy and energy I have right now.
Remember, first to meet their own needs, spare time, to meet the needs of others.
You have to be brave to refuse those who wanton occupation of your time and energy, things.
First to meet their needs, so that their inner comfort, not depressed, not wronged, have the power to create. Don’t exhaust yourself, in the end others may not look up to you.
5. Don’t let other people’s emotions get in the way
Don’t blame yourself for other people’s negative feelings.
When you see someone with a dark face, you wonder if you’re not doing a good enough job. When others are in a bad mood, we need to give each other a space to deal with their own emotions.
4. Conquer inferiority complex and surpass yourself
1. Take the front seat and stand out
Sitting in front can build confidence, dare to be first, dare to be front.
You must have enough courage and courage to put yourself in the public eye. Over time will form habits, self-abasement will be imperceptibly changed into self-confidence.
In addition, sitting in a prominent position will enlarge their leadership and teachers in the field of vision, enhance the frequency of recurrence, played to strengthen their role.
Sit As far forward as you can from now on, although sitting in front will be more conspicuous, but you should remember, everything about success, is conspicuous.
2. Look people in the eye
The eyes are the windows of the soul, a person’s eyes can reflect his character, reveal emotions, convey subtle messages.
If you dare not look others in the eye means inferiority, cowardice, fear.
To look people in the eye is to tell them that I am honest, above board, that I respect and like you very much.
Therefore, looking others in the eye is a positive mental reaction. It’s a symbol of confidence, and it’s a display of charisma.
3. Standing Tall
Many psychologists believe that people’s walking posture, pace, and his mental state is a certain relationship. Lazy posture, slow pace, is the expression of low mood.
If you look closely you will find that the movements of the body are the result of the activities of the mind. Those who are discouraged and ostracized tend to drag their feet and lack self-confidence.
Conversely, by changing the walking posture and speed, conducive to mood adjustment, to show extraordinary confidence, walking should be faster than the average person.
Pace, agility, posture, Standing Tall, will give people a more clear state of mind, will make self-confidence naturally born.
Practice speaking in public
In public, people who don’t talk think my opinions are worthless.
If it sounds stupid, I’d better not say anything at all. Speaking up as much as you can will increase your confidence. No matter what kind of meeting or class you attend, you have to speak up every time.
Many of the original wooden, stuttering people are through the practice of speech, practice public speaking, and become self-confidence.
5. We need to learn to Smile
Most of us know that a smile is a confidence booster and a cure for low confidence. There are still many who do not believe this because they never try to smile when they are afraid.
A real smile not only heals the bad feelings in you, but also instantly dissolves the hostile feelings in others.
If you show a sincere smile to a person, then he will have a good feeling for you. It’s enough to make you feel confident.
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