Habitual rudeness lays hidden dangers for parent-child relationship

"Habitual rudeness" lays hidden dangers for parent-child relationship

I often see videos of parents beating and scolding their children on the Internet, and I often hear and witness parents' abuse or rough treatment of their children, and I feel very uncomfortable. Some parents do not do it occasionally, but have formed a kind of "habitual roughness" in speech or behavior. They either did not realize the harm that their words and deeds brought to their children and the hidden dangers buried in the parent-child relationship, or they realized that they did not have the courage to change. The child has been habitually and roughly treated since he was a child. When he grows up and becomes a parent, he may treat his child in the same way. Good family habits will be passed on from generation to generation, and bad family habits will also form a vicious circle.

"Habitual rudeness" stems from the lack of basic respect for life. The root cause of parents' rough treatment of their children is often because they disrespect the children and do not treat the children as a life with an independent personality. Especially when the child is young, the parent scolds or beats, and the child is unable to resist. In fact, there is no essential difference between bullying and bullying. Observe carefully. Parents who don't respect their children often don't know how to respect others, and in the end they won't respect themselves. Other parents feel that the children are born by themselves, and of course they are their own private property. They have complete rights and freedom to dispose of them, and they can treat them whatever they want. The root of this concept is disrespect for life and disregard for children's rights.

The "habitually rude" attitude comes from the influence of the native family. Many parents who treat their children rudely are also rudely treated in their native families. The ears and eyes in the family environment make them involuntarily follow their parents' living habits and parenting methods. After becoming a parent, he changed from a "victim" to a "perpetrator", copying this method into his parent-child relationship, and treated his children in a rude manner, and took it for granted: "My parents are like this That’s how I did it!” So this improper way was passed down from generation to generation, forming a terrible vicious circle.

"Habitual rudeness" has become a way to vent the pressure of reality. The pressure in real life is everywhere. Some parents encounter unsatisfactory things in work or life, and they have not learned to use appropriate methods or ways to relieve the pressure. When they return home, they see that their children are not pleasing to the eye or fail to meet their expectations. He immediately found an outlet for catharsis, and began to verbally abuse the child, and even fisted the child. The child became a poor "scapegoat." There is no price to pay for beating and scolding a child for the time being. Over time, a habit will be formed. If you feel bad, you will use your child to vent your anger and become habitually rude. However, "you always have to pay back when you come out." This selfish and irrational behavior of parents will cause far-reaching damage to the child's body and mind and parent-child relationship.

It is indeed not easy to change a certain behavior as a habit. However, as long as parents are aware of the harm that a rough attitude brings to their children, and are unwilling to be controlled by this bad habit or even passed on from generation to generation, there will be motivation and opportunity for change.

Reflect on your attitude towards your children and respect every life with awe. Parents must first reflect on their attitude towards life. As higher animals with souls and thoughts, how should we respect life and others? In fact, respecting others is also respecting oneself. When parents have a deep awe and respect for their lives, and a noble compassion and appreciation, their vision and attitude towards their children will be completely different.

Every life deserves to be respected. Only when children are respected and treated kindly can they establish a harmonious relationship with the world and learn to treat others with love and respect. Parents also need to establish a correct view of children. Children are precious gifts from God. They are individual living individuals with independent personalities. They are not the private property of their parents, and they are not items that can be treated and disposed of at will.

Looking back at my childhood experience and native family, let the misbehavior cease in my own generation. If parents are victims of "habitual roughness" and have been hurt by their native family since they were young, they can deeply understand the damage this method brings to their children and the lingering marks of pain that they will linger in their lives. Change and prevent the pain you have experienced from reappearing in your child.

When parents can’t help but verbally verbally or even stick to their children, please give yourself a few seconds to pause, imagine the child as a childhood self, recall the painful feelings when you were treated rudely, and see the past in your heart. The poor and helpless "inner child". With this kind of reflection and awareness, parents can deeply understand that every child deserves to be treated with tenderness.

Learn to manage your emotions and learn to be mature and rational parents. It is not easy to become a qualified parent. Many parents are not mentally mature, or are not really ready to be parents. Parents who are habitually rude to their children are mostly people who cannot control and manage their emotions well. When they encounter various problems or setbacks in the process of parenting, their mental level and psychological energy are not enough to deal with and solve the problems, so they choose to escape , Either choose to break out and treat the child as a victim of bad emotions.

Therefore, parents must first strive to become qualified people, mature and rational people who can be responsible for their emotions. The process of being a parent is the process of growing up with children, and the process of raising children is the process of parents constantly cultivating themselves and making themselves more and more caring and patient. As long as you are aware of and aware of your own problems and are willing to change and grow, you will have the opportunity to learn to be a qualified parent again.