Child education and team management are the same: justice is greater than fairness
There are two children in the family, and it has never stopped. Either the second child provokes the boss, or the boss can't help but fight back, causing the second child to protest with high decibels, jumping and screaming.
Generally, the old mother will allow the two to tear each other, but once the "mutual tearing time" or the "second high decibel value", any one of the parameters exceeds a certain threshold, the old mother will immediately adjust from the bed flashing mode to the roaring mode: you Shut up both of you. My sister is not allowed to bully my brother, and my brother is not allowed to cry. You two are enough. The older sister was not convinced: the younger brother got me the first thing, and the younger brother cried out: it was the older sister who took my things.
In order to show fairness, the old mother must slander both of them: Sister, you are such an adult, and you don't know how to make a little brother; brother, don't be so stingy and make a little sister. Finally, I summarized one sentence: Okay, the two of them are not allowed to make trouble, why should they go? After calming down the emotions, she turned around and adjusted to the mode of lying on the bed again.
It seems fair. Both sides played 50 boards each. It was simple. But this is typical and muddy management. Not only did it fail to solve the problem, but it precipitated a contradiction and contributed a piece of brick to the destructive outbreak in the future.
From this perspective, justice is more important, and justice is greater than fairness.
When there is a problem, it is necessary to clarify the context, determine the responsibility, distinguish right from wrong, and determine the responsibility and punishment of both parties separately according to the magnitude of right and wrong responsibility.
In this case, I follow the steps below at home:
one. Faced with confrontation.
Call both children in front of you and tell them in person, instead of getting a one-on-one understanding of the situation. This will help the child describe the facts as much as possible, rather than self-releasing divergent descriptions.
two. Speak impartially.
Both children have to speak, telling the facts and reasons they think. Do not suppress any party not to speak, which helps children establish the habit of understanding that a thing requires a comprehensive and multi-angle view.
three. Find out the reason.
Both children must tell the reasons, what is the source of the conflict, and cannot be avoided.
Four. Discuss separately.
Next, let the two children judge whether each other's reasons are valid and whether their own reasons are completely correct.
five. Give a conclusion
Finally, based on the discussion between the two children, I gave a conclusion, clarified where they were right and wrong, and asked for improvement in the future.
Both children have the opportunity to tell the facts and reasons they think, and hear the facts and reasons that the other party thinks, and what they don’t understand. As a father, I will give counseling and clarification. This kind of justice is far better than playing the 50th college. Slab and muddy fair:
The problem has been solved: it is not that it disappears in a daze, but that it is right and wrong;
The child is respected: able to speak his own point of view;
Children get exercise: they can question and discuss with each other;
The child is educated: it is clear whether it is right or wrong, and the standard of good or bad is known;
Children begin to understand methodology: they have a problem-solving-oriented thinking model.
Therefore, child education and team management are the same.
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