In the marriage and love consulting industry for many years, large and small emotional cases have been taken over.
So, I can say that what I see is the outline and mean of the current intimate relationship, which must be more comprehensive and objective than most people see in marriage.
Summed up the ten most important experience, the more boys, the better the stability of marriage.
After all, the test before marriage is cruel, and it is hundreds of times better than the regret of a chicken hair after marriage.
1. To you, but not only to you
The first premise for marriage is that the other party will be nice to you.
But it is not enough to be "to you" alone, or even to be confused - on this basis, the other party must have other characteristics that attract you.
In other words, just for you doesn't mean it's suitable for marriage; But it's not so good for you, and you can't get married even if you have more advantages.
2. Pay attention to the mode of his native family
It is two people's business to be in love, but marriage is a matter of two families.
You should pay special attention to the way his family gets along - his parents' way of getting along and the atmosphere of his family. This is probably what you will be doing in the future.
If you go to his home and feel the way his parents get along and bring you strong discomfort or dissatisfaction, then think carefully.
3. Can handle the relationship between mother and daughter
Second, can he handle the relationship between the native family and you? Can you balance your parents and your needs? Can he play a positive role in the relationship and solve the existing problems effectively?
The simplest way to test is to recall whether you have experienced the grievance, oppression and over demand of the other parents in your relationship with the other family? After the problem, how does the other party face this matter, is it with you to persuade parents, or after the group with the original family accuses you?
Any sign before marriage can only become more rampant after marriage, and not better. So, if you realize that the other person can't give you the desired result in family relationships, be careful about marriage.
4. Whether the other party has accepted the mediocrity and stability
Love is mainly about the wind and snow, two people only participate in each other's eating, drinking and playing, love and love every day; But marriage will involve more practical problems, and the two face the fireworks and firewood.
Therefore, the sense of responsibility and obligation of boys towards family is very important.
Does he like you to yearn for marriage and accept the mediocrity of marriage? Or a hot brain, marriage as a romantic commitment, did not think deeply about whether to accept marriage life?
It is suggested that the two people should have a long talk before marriage, focusing on the attitude and cognition of the other party towards marriage.
5. He can see the future
Potential, and an important trait for marriage.
He must have a trend that will benefit the future of the two: to be motivated, to have a plan, to be high in business, to be diligent, and so on. Instead of being at the moment, it is the fuse of the future, such as cowardice, not going forward, thinking, no plan, etc.
6. Have responsibility, do not shirk responsibility
For a family, the boy's responsibility is very important.
Whether he can do his duty and have the responsibility of being half a day in his family, take the initiative to undertake his own obligations and actively promote the development of marriage quality.
Instead of taking marriage as a responsibility for women, in addition to making some pocket money every day, they completely shirk the burden of life to each other, and they live more easily every day than single.
7. In the relationship, both sides' tolerance for each other is greater than change
Marriage is more like choosing a person, not changing one.
Of course, proper change is better to be in, but in the general direction, no one is willing to change completely according to the aesthetic and needs of another person, especially when it does not involve moral level, truth, right or wrong, but only involves the difference of life style, cognition and concept.
So never expect a person who is completely inappropriate for you to "he has changed it" - in real life, decades of habits and genetic instincts can't change yourself simply to fit you.
8. Good character, three views
The objective condition of a person is a big flash point naturally, but more importantly, the personal internal character.
A person's character and three views not only represent his future life, but also by his original family and even the three generations of his ancestors. Similarly, his inner part, after you have children, more or less through personal behavior and speech expression, will shape the growth benchmark of the child.
Therefore, we should pay special attention to his inner quality and concept, and observe his attitude towards the outsiders who are not related to their own interests except you.
Remember, when you really choose the marriage partner, you should practice a pair of eyes that can penetrate the essence of the eye; Can cross the human structure he created in front of you, and pay attention to the fox tail he treats the world.
9. It's better to be a right person
The worries of the older generation are not unreasonable.
Of course, in real life, there are many wrong love, but there are some abusive Romeo and Juliet effect, the more less optimistic, as if the love is deeper.
But marriage is not a child play, nor is the second in the head of the heat to decide the impulse of a lifetime.
The love of the door to the door is not just a secular vision. In essence, because the growing environment and idea instilling of the two people from childhood are similar, the three view standards and the way to deal with problems will be unified and consistent. In the road of life, there will be less subjective obstacles and running in, and the greater the possibility of going on.
10. Can he properly deal with the contradiction between the two
Try to think back, how does a conflict arise in love - especially when it comes to your feelings and emotions?
Is it escape? Is it perfunctory? Or solve the problem? Is it understanding respect?
In short, after the problem is solved, do you still feel grievance and dissatisfaction, or are you used to self digestion?
Love when grievance, will not be good after marriage. Often it may also be intensified with the slack of the men.
Therefore, if he takes a indifferent attitude towards the contradiction between the two sides during the love period and has no little pain in your grievance, then you must not marry unless you can guarantee that you can cry in the quilt for a lifetime.
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